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Last night, I called my mama to inform her that we'd be coming down to visit her because we'd been promising it for so long and had to push it back a couple of times. When we did push it back, we always seemed to regret it. So, when I called her last night, my little sister had informed me that my Uncle Butch had died. I don't know for sure when he died or how he died but what I do know is that my uncle had liver cancer . When he found the time to drink, I'll never know because he didn't or maybe it was some other liver cancer. Instead, in this story, I'll tell you what kind of man he was to me and my family. That's probably the way he would have wanted it anyway. As I sit writing this, there is no title because I'm not quite sure what to title it just yet.

My uncle's real name was Eddie Johnson AKA Butch, he was seventy-five years old, he was the preacher of our small church because his father had been the bishop a few decades before he died and my uncle was my great-grandfather's son.

I never knew my great-grandfather but I knew my Uncle Butch was nothing like him. Uncle Butch went about his church in a totally different direction. My Uncle Butch was the type of man who told it like it was and yes, that included using profanity in his services. He also liked to include his life's lessons in his sermons which included how he began working at around six selling apples, how our family were former slaves,  amongst other life lessons.

Butch was always there for my family when we needed him most. He'd let us borrow money if we ran out, he'd bring us groceries if there was none, he'd allow us to borrow or buy a car from him if we didn't have one, and he'd always be there for us if things went array as if a hurricane were coming, if we needed a place to stay, etc. When my sister was unable to take care of her son, he was the one who took him in even if he wasn't prepared to take care of the young boy.

My uncle had worked most of his life. He was a smart man who could see a way through anything, he could talk to anyone and relate to them, he dressed to kill (as he'd put it), and smelled really good. He made his life what he wanted, he embraced it, and he was all he wanted us to be. Somehow, I feel he's proud of some of us but I won't lie, there's some of us who have let him down.

He was the patriarch of our family and he stood like Mufasa on the Lion King, which is who he related himself to the most. He was born in mid-September and funny enough, his zodiac sign was the Leo. He was so much to so many people and not just to me but he is what kept our morals strong as we grew into adults.

I didn't talk much to my mama about what happened because I know she is dying on the inside. She and he spent every day together, sharing secrets of church members, sharing each family secrets, gossiping, and their every day lives with one another. Since joining the church, she and he'd spend every day together even if it was three to four hours and it had grown to be more since my daddy died.

In his last days, she took care of him just as he'd took care of her and just as she'd took care of my father in his final days when he died of lung cancer in 2000. So, here we are eight years later and her favorite uncle dies of liver cancer.

I haven't cried yet and don't think I will but I will catch that lump in my throat as I view his body lying there in the casket and as they put him in the ground. My uncle's nephew, who happens to be named after his own father and my uncle's dad will be sad or will be adopted by a sister of the church or returned to his mother . There is a lot of unfinished business to be taken care of and I don't know what will happen.

However, I feel as though my mama needs someone right now and I want to be there for her. When my dad died of lung cancer in 2000, she began to have her own health problems. That is when her kidneys failed, that is when she had a stroke causing her brain to bleed, and temporarily die. That is when my Uncle Butch bought her back to life. He isn't here anymore - who will save her now if something were to happen? She wants to go on living, though, I heard it from her in a phone call a few weeks ago.

I'll remember my uncle for the good he did, though although there were some things that he's done and said that stuck in my memory. I'll share them later but now, I'm inwardly grieving - if not that. I don't know where I am now on an emotional level. I'll be going to New Orleans tonight and the funeral will be on Saturday. The whole family just might turn out because he was a man who was liked and disliked for one reason or another. The song I listed on this blog is the one he played in church on his birthday every year and it always made him cry.